Middle-earth Irony Menagerie - Manufacturing in Middle-earth

Manufacturing in Middle-earth

From a thread titled "Bows" in alt.fan.tolkien in December 1999.

On December 22, 1999 'Eol' wondered:
"Does anyone know what elvish bows in Middle Earth look like? I'm thinking of something like Beleg's bow. Tolkien didn't give any detailed descriptions, but maybe someone knows what it should look like."

Conrad Dunkerson came to his assistance, and provided the following quotations:
"...and placed beside him Belthronding his great bow, that was made of black yew-wood."
"To Legolas she gave a bow such as the Galadrim used, longer and stouter than the bows of Mirkwood, and strung with a string of elf-hair."

He then proceeded to tell us more than some may want to know:
Yew was the traditional material for making the great longbows of England. Belthronding certainly seems to be a large and powerful bow (in some cases said to be drawable only by Beleg). The bow given to Legolas is also called a "great bow". I think that these at least (for there were other kinds) seem likely to have been much like the english longbows; made of a single staff of wood, about 5' long when unstrung (likely more for a tall elf like Beleg). Large gentle curve... presumably not recurved at all (though this is not stated and it would increase the power of the bows). The elf-hair bowstring is interesting... human hair doesn't make the best of bow strings, apparently elven hair has greater tensile strength

This last point on the tensile strength of hair was picked up by Bill Hsu:
"At BASF (Beleriandic Alliance of Sindarin Fletchers), we don't make the elf-hair;
we give the elf-hair greater tensile strength.
We don't make the great bows of black yew wood, we enchant them to shoot faster.
We don't make the Silmarils, we make the Silmarils shinier.
At BASF, we don't make a lot of the products you use to fight the War of Wrath; we make them better..."

This, for some reason or other led to a round of aggravated punning in a built-up area:
(the names of all who participated are known, and the police expect to make a number of arrests soon)

Is reading Tolkien Hobbit forming? (John R. Grove)
That was one tolk over the line..... (A. Ron Carmichael)
What are you guys Tolkien about? (Greg Admire)
oh, enthing... (Tamfiiris)

I tried so hard to stay away from this thread, but I've enjoyed sick puns since bofur most of you were beorn. This doesn't make me elessar person, I just lack talan. OK, I'm dunhere. You can hate me orthanc me -- anduril! (Laurie "Oh, Just Smial" Forbes)

Someone's had too much brandy/wine. (Michael Barnes )
i only Took a Smaug sip! (Tamfiiris)

Anduin joking! (Michael Martinez)
Trust me, no-one can do hurin! (Tamfiiris)
The people who say that are those hurin big trouble.
Resistance is futile. You will be Silmarilliated.. (Michael Martinez)

I'm fundin out that TEUNChood is every bit as merry as it's Cracked up to be, but we'll all wind up shelobbering into wight straitjackets someday when we get boromir puns. Right now, it's all fun and games and nobody's afrodo nothing, but any day now it'll be "gimli more jokes; more jokes!" and we'll find that we've all gandalf, blind, witless and unmanned. We'll be scrabbling and hurin at each other in a dull stupor, shouting "Legolas I smite you!", playing with Tickle-Me-Ulmos and being checked out for osseoporosis. It's positively narsilating, and I think aragorn to pukel!

If any anor-retentives are having trouble endurin this, saruman, but you should at least dain to participate. Arwen't you the slightest bit interested in pippin in?

I'll phial this thread away for future reference, as it'll be ghan before long.
See you all elrond; I'm going to go make myself a ham samwich.

-Bill "Gloin with Pride" Hsu

You mean a hamfast sandwich, don't you? (Öjevind)

And finally:
- Does anyone know what elvish bows in Middle Earth look like?
- Small bend at the waist, maybe a dainty flourish with the left hand. (Russ)

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