MRS. GIANT SPIDER
to the tune of MR. TAMBOURINE MAN, by Bob Dylan
(as sung by Gollum)

Saturday, February 15, 2003 by Bagronk the Happy Orc

Chorus:
Hey, Mrs. Giant Spider, I've got prey for you
I'm not joking and this is no fraud, as you will see
Hey, Mrs. Giant Spider, Hobbit meat for you
In the dreary weary darkness they come following me.

Long ago my golden Precious which I found in the sand
Vanished from my hand
Left me desperate and old and sick and screaming
Now to find revenge I have walked far on aching feet
I have someone to meet
On the ancient mountain pass, and now I'm dreaming

Chorus

Catch them like small pets in magic never-failing nets
In your strong spider webs
And then bite off their heads
I have a feeling that's
A plan that will make both of us quite happy
I'm ready now to take them here, I'm ready for to lure
Them down to you for sure
Let old Smeagol out for now, I promise to come back to you

Chorus

Though they once were laughin', spinnin', dancin' round the Elvish
tree
Where light stings like a bee
I say now with great glee
That now in the sky the yellow face can't help them
And when they hear vague traces of someone in the black
Creeping right behind their back
And they cry out: what the heck -
You will break fat hobbit's neck
And I will take then my precious I'd been chasing

Chorus

Then see me disappearin' when I have the Ring again
And as my own I claim
The Precious, and then hey!
The Orcs will all obey
Lord Gollum, wise and great
Far from this twisted hobbit that I now am
Yes, to dance beneath the darkened sky with my mouth full of prey
Tasty fish for me all day
All my hurts they will soon cure
And that bloke in Barad-dur
Will be dishonoured and poor
And I'll pay him back his torture just tomorrow...