BILBO'S STORY by Raven (Jon Lennart Beck) To the tune of Nice To Be Here, from The Moody Blues 'Every Good Boy Deserves Favour'. This is Bilbo sitting in Bag End, relating his adventures to his younger relatives. It comes in three installments. Nice To See You, part 1 Nice to see you, young friends of mine In my hobbit hole Lovely evening, let's have some wine My tale will now be told It was on a fine spring day That a man came up this way 'Good morning' I bid to him My mood sweet as honey But he talked to me funny A tall hat with a quite wide brim Chorus [1]: Long ago now, when I was young You are younger still Long ago now, when I was young Oh, I had my fill! This began my adventure Of delights and fears so pure With Dwarves and Dwarves galore At first it was delightful But it soon became plightful So different from my life before Chorus. There were trolls there who would eat us There were goblins there who beat us In their goblin hall There was Gollum who would eat me And he really tried to cheat me But I proved much too smart for them all! Chorus. Perhaps you won't believe me But we really had to climb trees Wolves were everywhere Then the goblins came to burn us It was like in a furnace! Then the eagles came and *flew* us from there! But it was not only dangers For we also met nice strangers Elrond and Beorn Well, the evening's getting late now You must hear the rest tomorrow That is, if you can be from my tale torn! (Repeat last six lines; fade) [1] Bravely resisting the temptation to leave a reference to the Ring here, the original actually having "I can see them they can't see me"! Nice To See You, part 2: Nice to see you, young friends of mine In this fragrant June Nice to see you, do have some wine My tale shall now resume Have you ever tried flying? It is scarier than dying Almost I did burst! Though heights are not for our kind I am certain that you will find Wargs and armoured orcs are much worse Chorus: Long ago now, when I was young You are younger still Long ago now, when I was young Oh, I had my fill! Beorn was also scary And at first we were quite wary But we needn't fear Though he called me 'little bunny' We were stuffed with cream and honey It was very lovely there Chorus. Mirkwood was a nightmare And I never think I will dare Go there once again Many weeks without sunlight Then our belts became so tight Hunger almost was our bane Chorus. Then we met the dreadful spiders That was when I turned a fighter With my Elven blade Then the wood-Elves with their arrows They made 'guests' of my Dwarrows I, though, stayed hid in the shade Then against their angry quarrels I put Dwarves in many barrels They were free once more Well, it's getting late again now You must hear the rest tomorrow Peregrin seems almost to snore! (Repeat last six lines; fade) Nice To See You, part 3: Nice to see you, young friends of mine Will you hear some more? Nice to see you, let's have some wine Promise not to snore! All my dwarves were feeling low down Wet and cranky in the Lake-town Aching to the core We were clothed and fed and rested Hospitality was tested Yet there were a few miles more Chorus: Long ago now, when I was young You are younger still Long ago now, when I was young Oh, I had my fill! Now a boat became my bearer With the mountain growing nearer I was gloomy then Then we got up to the mountain Such a cheerless land I saw then Outside the dragon's den Chorus. After looking for a long time At the end of quite a long climb There it was: the door Then I went to see the dragon And I stole a golden flagon But boy, did old Smaug get sore! Chorus. It was I who found the weak spot On the dragon, where he was shot In a dreadful night Then the goblins came to plunder Many good folk were sent under But finally things were set right Well, I got a bit of treasure Nothing more than to my measure And we started west Now I hope my words may reach you With the lesson I will teach you Out is well, but home is best! (Repeat last six lines; fade)