THE LAST ALLIANCE
to the tune of THE LAST TIME by Eurythmics
(Figwit, Elf-Prince of Ost-in-Edhil, to the Dunedain maidens)

Monday, April 22, 2002
by Figwit with Banazir the Jedi Hobbit

[My old buddy "Figwit", who asked to remain anonymous, wrote me
recently and averred that appearing in LoTR:FOTR, albeit very
briefly, might have been a mistake. It seems that cameo has revived
his notoriety - apparently, this was a problem once before, when he
was the court musician of the Mírdain during the latter days of
the Second Age. Fortunately, or so he thought, this meant that only
one other living person could identify him. Unfortunately, that
person is Morwen. #-)]

Well the first time that I saw you
You were standing in the rain
You had laid seige to Eregion
With Elf-babes on your brain

Well - who will you dote on
If I'm disinclined to stay?
And I said - who will you dote on
If I up and sailed away? [*]

Hey... HEY!
(incensed look as he is pinched surreptitiously)

CHORUS:
Last time you'll have an Elf to hound
Don't think you're gonna fool around with me
(It's the last time)
Last time you'll have an Elf to hound
Don't think you're gonna fool around with me
(It's the last time baby)

(REPEAT CHORUS)

You filled Imladris with roses
Gifts of CHOKLIT and of pearls
But I sent them to the Woses
To give to Pűkel girls

Well - I'm just a pretty face
You glimpsed in seven frames
Didn't really get to do much
Didn't have too much to say...

Hey... HEY!
(incensed look as he has his butt slapped)

(CHORUS)
(REPEAT CHORUS)

Ladies, won't you just set me free?
Ladies, you've got --- to let me breathe!

(REPEAT CHORUS TO FADE)

[*] The draft that Figwit sent me has (scratched out)
"If I won't be your love slave?"