FIRST WE TAKE ISENGARD
to the tune of FIRST WE TAKE MANHATTAN by Leonard Cohen
(Sauron, to the hosts of the Free Peoples of Middle-earth)

Thursday, December 2, 1999 by Mia Kalogjera

They sentenced me to twenty years of Mirkwood
For trying to mess their system from within
I'm coming now, I'm coming to reward them
First we take Isengard, then we take Gondor!

I'm guided by a signal in the fire
I'm guided by these scorches on my skin
I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons
First we take Isengard, then we take Gondor!

I'd really like to rule above you baby
I hate your kingdom and your armies and your guts
But you see that Ring there giving all the power
I told you, I told you, I told you it was mine!

You thought I was a loser but now you worry I'll probably win
You know the way to stop me but you just don't have the Ring
How many nights I schemes for this, to let my work begin
First we take Isengard, then we take Gondor!

I don't like your fancy banners mister
And I don't like these leaves that keep you fit
I don't like what happened to my system
First we take Isengard, then we take Gondor!

I thank you for those spies that you sent me
The hobbit, and the fake Elf warrior
I torture them every night, now I'm happy
First we take Isengard, then we take Gondor!