U.R.U.K.
to the tune of Y.M.C.A. by The Village People
(as sung by Lurtz, Shagrat, Gorbag, and the Balrog of Moria)

Sunday, August 17, 2003 by William H. Hsu

Young orc, bow down to your Dark God
I said young orc, you were born from a pod
I said young orc, acos you're in a new bod
There's no need to be so trasky

Young orc, run down to Isengard
I said young orc, feed on sweet human lard
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Baby half-orcs sealed in green brine [*]

dum! dum! dum! dum! dum!

It's fun to be a big U-R-U-K
It's fun to be a big U-R-U-K, eh?
You can kill lots of tarks
You can burn hobbit parks
You can pillage the Riddermark!

Young orc, serve the Red Lidless Eye
I said young orc, he's a powerful guy
I said young orc, sure as fell beasts can fly
He'll bring Gondor down to its knees

Young orc, come with us to get sloshed
I said young orc, there's some man-flesh to nosh
I said young orc, just watch out for the ghash!
It'll toast you fine and crispy

dum! dum! dum! dum! dum!

It's fun to be a big U-R-U-K
It's fun to be a big U-R-U-K, hey!
You can kill lots of Elves
Then we'll burn Rivendell
And we'll turn Middle-earth into Hell!
(Repeat to fade)


[*] Author's note: this line is due to Denise Plourde, who recorded
an excellent rendition of the filk.  We discussed the scansion and
accenting of alternatives ("Many babies pickled in brine", "Babies
sealed in jars of green brine", etc.) longer than I - or Saruman, who
was actually responsible for the atrocities - would care to admit.
:-)